Friday, November 21, 2008
Time: 9.10 AM
location: final day at the lab
Feeling: confused, sad, dilema
hi viewer,im in dilema..i dedicating dis song to him..hope u understand wat im going thru right nw..juz pray for the best for us..Ketika malam penuh bintangDi antara cahaya termarangEngkau beri aku kesejukanTapi hatiku bimbangAku ingin tapi ku tak bisaApakah ini nyata atau mimpi belakaKu takut rindu bila tak lagi bertemuHaruskah ku terima cinta yang dilemaKau tanya apakah ku bisaMembuka hatiku untuk muKu tak bisa berkata-kataAir mata yang bicaraSesungguhnya ku ingin dirimu tuk cairkan hati ku yang bekuTapi aku belum siapAku jadi dilemaAku takmau menyakiti dirimuKarna hati ini masih raguTapi aku butuh cintaAku jadi dilemato her: gerl i noe u r reading my blog..thnks for the pray..im nt sure if im making the rite choice..if i tell u the whole thing wat happen..u will be shocked..to tell u the truth..i alredy change n throw all my ego..it juz both u n him dun seem to see the changes in me..i tried to show bt i juz cant i dun noe y..if u say i hurt him..i am more hurt..n wat im gg to tell u will leave u speechless..u remember he hurt me for the very first tym..u n zai help me thru..he promised me nt to do again..n yes we did fight juz recently bcoz of he cant stand my attitude..bt totally forgive him n wan him back in my life..im lucky dat i hvnt make dat move yet..as yesterday wen i went to met him to have a talk..i juz sense something is wrong..i went to check his hp..n guess wat gerl..he been msging a gerl..im nt bluffing u..i ask him who is she..at first de said dat is his fren fren..can u believe dat..slowly i tried to unlock all the lies...its been sometimes he msing the gerl..n he even told the gerl dat he is SINGLE...u hear me SINGLE...den wat am i here for...if he reali love me..he wouldnt do dat eventhou hes angry wit me..i noe if some one is angry they do stupid thing bt..is dis a stupid thing u tell me..n even hes angry wit me he have to think dat he has a gf n dats is me..if he tink of me he wouldnt do dat...ya i admit i too did the last tym..bt it was nt my fault..i do hide bt i felt guilty n i told him the truth..the whole truth..b4 he caught me..bt he nv even tell me anitink..i caught him red handed gerl..if im a stupid gf n i dun noe anitink..u tink hw long will diz have to be a secret..im here stupidly loving him everyday..n he happily playing behind my back..nw u tell me am i making the wrong move..to tell u the truth..i myself cant decide wat choice i have to make..i hv been hurt too deep..i forgive him for wat he did to me..bt still it is nt enuff to bring my heart back..coz dis is nt the first tym he did dis to me..so it very hard to trust him back..so nw u noe the whole stories..i noe u wan the best in me..n u dun wan to see me n him parted..i alredy try my best..nw i juz wan to cool dwn n let me think thru...to him: i juz hope dat u realized wat u have done to me..it is not easy for me to take u back juz lyk dat..juz give tym to think thru..u noe dat i truely love u..u are the best bf i ever had..u pampered me so much..its reali hard for me to make a decision fast..let me gain the trust back..even if i were to be wit u back..everything will change..all back to square 1..u have to accept for hu i am..since im able to accept for wat u have done to me..fair..if u tink im asking too much im sorrie..by saying u miss me..u love me..texting me every minute..it wont make my decision to accept u back fast..i appreciate dat u say all dis thing..i noe u are proving me..bt i still nid time to tink..
Dis is me signing off
@9:10 AM
